Have You Ever Told Your Bone Marrow It Is Loved?
I have and it was a remarkable experience! Why would I take the time to send love to my bone marrow. Well, here is my story:
A year ago I went for a mammogram and was told I needed to have a breast ultrasound to look more closely at a spot in the upper outer quadrant of my left breast. I went for the ultrasound and was unpleasantly surprised to hear that the spot looked suspicious. A needle biopsy was recommended and was told it could be done within the next two days.
When the radiologist said these words, and they were the only ones he spoke to me, I felt as if they were not really spoken to me but more or less into thin air. There wasn't any warmth or friendliness in his words, no real interest in me, at least that is the way it seemed. I had the thought, "You know, the people at Starbuck's know me better than you. They at least ask my name so they can write it on my cup." No one, neither tech nor doctor, offered a kind or understanding word about my situation. I felt, metaphorically, that I had been slapped in the face and told, "Oh, that didn't hurt". I was very aware that I needed to make a decision about the biopsy but was determined I would not be pressured in to making a decision right on the spot.
Everything within me said don't proceed quickly with this. "Take your time, think about this and determine if it is the right course for you," whispered by inner knowing. You may be thinking, "What's the matter with her? Why wouldn't she want to know right away if there was cancer in her breast."
Actually, I have quite a few reasons for not wanting to jump into it head first, or breast first in my case, without knowing more. I didn't want to become a customer of the medical system and be over-treated for a problem that would be best left alone. It could be something I would die with but not from if I left it alone. I didn't want to assume the worst about the situation nor did I want to interfere with a natural process that could be going on in my body that was working to heal and repair the area. However, I didn't want to die because of being stupid either. There was a lot to think about!
So what shall I do? I knew I would take my time about deciding, that was a given, considering my natural, cautious, curious, nature. I would take my time and learn as much as I could about complex cysts and I would also meditate and contemplate about the next right step for me without pressure from the medical system .
The radiologist report described the area as hypoechoic, meaning that it reflected fewer sound waves. It was described as being wider than tall and an avascular lesion. It had slightly increased in size from a previous ultrasound. The lesion could be a cyst, a fibroadenoma or cancer. The radiologist did not offer to explain anything he saw on the ultrasound other than, statically there was a 20% chance it could be cancer. I would have welcomed him sharing his knowledge with me, explaining what he saw and why he thought it might be cancer. Had he attempted to educate me, I might have been comfortable enough to say yes to having the biopsy. ( One of the problems with being a nurse is you know a little bit about a lot of things but never as much as you would like.)
As fate would have it, with in the next few months I became acquainted with Linda Christine Beauregard, author of the book, "I Gave Myself Cancer, I Can Take It Away," and Jean Sumner, founder of World Wellness Education, and I met Charles Majors, author of "Cancer Killers" and Ursala Kaiser, author of
"A Wealth of Health". These people were eager to share their knowledge with me and each one of them had healed themselves of cancer by nutrition and alternative therapists. I sat up and took notice!
Nutrition, health, and personal growth have always been subjects that interest me and I was ripe and ready to learn more. I have a great deal of respect for the intelligence of my body, after all it, breathes me with out me doing a thing, and it digests food and eliminates without a passing thought from me. That inner intelligence has taken care of me for sixty four years. I was not about to start mistrusting it now, nor was I about to turn against it by having needles, poisons, or radiation administered by a system that focuses on disease rather than health without my being fully informed.
I have made eye contact with the Grim Reaper about three times in my life and have brushed the sleeve of his garment even more than a few times so I feel very blessed to still be here and I want to be here for a lot longer. I trust my intellect, my imagination and my intuition to guide me through this process. I was willing to take charge of my life and I began to make some much needed changes.
Feeding and cleaning the cells is the short version of how to promote health and prevent disease so I switched to eating more organic foods, more raw foods, purified water and lots of it, lots of green drinks, herbs to support my immune system, a daily meditation and guided imagery practice, detoxification of the body with food, water, coffee enemas, herbs, dry brushing, and increased exercise.
While sitting in my daily meditation practice of sending love to all the organs in my body, I had an unexpected experience. I felt them respond! I am not speaking metaphorically here. My pancreas actually fluttered, the bones of my pelvis rattled as I sent thoughts of appreciation to my bone marrow! My heart swelled and caused tears of gratitude to stream down my face.
I know the mind is in the body, in every cell, but I didn't know that you could cultivate an intimate relationship with your organs. They know when the mind is flooding them with love, when they are being ignored and when they are being neglected. I am forever changed by this simple practice of sitting quietly in meditation and sending appreciation to my body.
I am humbled by this awareness and by the realization that I have sent many uncaring, negative messages to my body through the years. I grew up in an atmosphere of neglect, abandonment and rejection and I have told myself the story of being un-lovable over and over again. I did not know how to love, nurture, soothe, or comfort myself until my breast started asking for my attention. Imagine all that my cells have overheard.
I knew the happiest time of my life was when I was a new mother. It was wonderful holding someone I loved so much in my arms and feeding them at my breast (I have two children). I was filled with love and concern, and demonstrated very caring behaviors toward them. I breast fed them during a time when it wasn't popular, made my own baby food, and wouldn't let any harmful substance near them if I could help it. Ask the smokers around me if they remember my admonishments? I was protective, diligent, and determined when it came to taking care of them.
The time has come in my life when I must show that same amount of care and concern for myself that I did my babies. Today I am more mindful of the critical thoughts and I will stop them and tell another story. However, I am a work in progress and I fall short more than I like. I want to nurture and care for myself in the same manner I did my babies and I want to consider it a privilege to do this just as I felt as a new mother.
A woman's breast symbolizes loving, nurturing, motherly love, sensuousness and softness. It is nestled right beside the heart; the organ that symbolizes love. Love is the medicine I need more than anything else. During my life there were many times I felt unsupported. Now I am looking at life differently. I see that support is the basic fabric of life. I can see it in my own body. I have two eyes, two ears, two lungs, two kidneys, each one supporting the other. Really there isn't any part of the body that isn't supported by the other parts. They are all interconnected by an amazing feedback loop. We have one heart but it has four chambers. Isn't that wonderful? We are sitting in an ocean of love and support and often can't experience it!
When I thought I was unsupported it was only because I was not fully aware of all that is. I've been near death, had heartbreaks, and lonely times but life has always supported me through those times. I am very grateful to be awakened to my ability to love and my lovableness. My heart just fluttered and my eyes well up. Ahh the feeling of gratitude. What a wonderful thing!
My next step is uncertain but I will proceed in the direction that I believe is right for me. I will continue to work at loving and supporting myself and looking forward to the journey that lies ahead
To be continued.